6th Headshot || Text

[bye_to_yer_head]

What. The bloody hell. Is going on?

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[prpl_assistant]

[What is she doing? She shouldn't be so close to him like this!

B-but he's so warm and fluffy and he's a dog and she's ALWAYS WANTED ONE and no one will know...

She continues to pet his head gently and soothingly, her emotions all a jumble.]

[bye_to_yer_head]

*He's going to be incredibly embarrassed when he turns back into himself and realizes just how close he was to her and how eager he was for attention. There's a big doggy yawn, before he falls asleep, his legs twitching occasionally as he runs in his sleep.*

[prpl_assistant]

[Well, at least he's asleep. Carefully, she pulls herself away from him and gets a blanket. Hopefully when he gets up in the morning, he'll be back to his normal self. She covers him and leaves him there, lest this gets more awkward when he wakes up.]

[bye_to_yer_head]

*And he will be back to his normal self in the morning. Which is.. incredibly awkward since he's still sleeping on her couch. At least he has his clothes on.

Trying to be as quiet as he possibly can he shifts off the couch and tries to make a break for it before she notices.*

[prpl_assistant]

[Nope.avi. She's already awake, and brewing the coffee. She pokes her head out of the kitchen when she hears him wake up.]

Good morning Sniper. Coffee?

[bye_to_yer_head]

*He would make a terrible Spy. With one hand on the doorknob he freezes, before shoving his hat down over his eyes and turning to face her.*

Roight. That .. sound fine.

*Awkwaaaaard.*

[prpl_assistant]

[She sets a cup down for him. It's decaf, but at least it's brewed properly.]

It's good that you're back to normal. How are you feeling?

[bye_to_yer_head]

*He sits back down on the couch and takes an appreciative sip of his coffee. With his other hand he starts absently brushing some of the fur off her couch.*

Good as new. I don't think I'd make a good dog fer real long.

Sorry 'bout yer couch.

[prpl_assistant]

It's fine. I can sweep off the fur later.

So, other than yesterday, how have you been Sniper? I know you've been in Paradise longer than I have. Has things been going alright for you?

[bye_to_yer_head]

S'been alroight I suppose. Broke my gun, been th' only BLU here fer a bit, been turned into a badger an' a dog an' Pyro wants t' loight me on foire.

Business as usual.

[prpl_assistant]

Did you make her angry? Pyro, I mean.

[bye_to_yer_head]

She's mad that I told her there were no piranhas in Paradise. Loike it's my fault th' place didn't see fit t' put a bunch 'f freshwater fish in th' ocean.

[prpl_assistant]

Maybe you could get her another pet fish instead? At least you wouldn't have to worry about being set alight.

[bye_to_yer_head]

I think she's got enough pets.

She can get her own damn fish, I ain't a pet store.

[prpl_assistant]

How about charging her a fee of some sort for the pet fish? A barter.

[bye_to_yer_head]

I think she'd try an' pay me in foire.

[prpl_assistant]

Or she could give you something worth it. She's not that bad a person Sniper. She's just very different from you, and maybe that's causing all this tension between the two of you.

Pyro acts like a child sometimes, there isn't any doubt about that. I can imagine that that doesn't sit well with you at the times when she's being difficult. But we can't afford to be at each other's throats here Sniper. We might need each other in time to come.

I know you're cross with her, and you have every right to. She's wrong to threaten you with fire over a pet fish. But don't just write her off as just another RED Pyro who's out to set you alight.

[bye_to_yer_head]

I didn't think she was till she started talkin' 'bout killin' me.

I don't think ya understand. I don't care what she does, an' I ain't mad at her. I'm jus' tryin' t' avoid bein' lit on fire.

[prpl_assistant]

[OK, so that just makes her job a lot easier.]

If that's the case, wouldn't it be better for the two of you to at least be on amiable terms then? She'd be less likely to set you on fire then.

[bye_to_yer_head]

I don't wanna hear it. I spent a good half hour tellin' her no one here hated her only t' 'ave her start cryin' and hang up on me.

Don't know why I even bother anymore.

[prpl_assistant]

Has she been under a lot of stress lately? Not from you, but from someone else?

[bye_to_yer_head]

Dunno. Not loike I keep track 'f her. Why?

[prpl_assistant]

It's possible that something else is making her upset, and she just used you as stress relief. It may be nothing personal against you.

[bye_to_yer_head]

That'll be a real comfort when I'm waitin' weeks t' respawn.

*With a frown he downed the rest of his coffee and set it back down on the table.*

[prpl_assistant]

I'll speak with her and try for reason. Whatever it is, it's not tolerable behavior from her, and I'll make sure it stops.