6th Headshot || Text

[bye_to_yer_head]

What. The bloody hell. Is going on?

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[prpl_assistant]

[No, no she can't.

When he flicked those ears, all resistance crumbled to the ground like the Walls of Jericho. Her hand immediately reached forward to give him more ear scratches.]

[bye_to_yer_head]

*His first instinct was to pull away. It was completely improper for someone to be petting him. Especially a woman he barely knew who was also technically his boss. But in his doggy form that felt really good.

Being a dog was itchy, she was just helping out. With that sound reasoning in mind he closed his eyes and leaned into it, happily panting.*

[prpl_assistant]

[More ear scratches. And petting. She's always wanted a dog, and he seems to like it, and maybe the good terms that they had in Mayfield was being channeled, but whatever it is this stays between her and him.]

[bye_to_yer_head]

*He made a few grumbly happy noises as he settled against her side for pets. Yeah, he could get used to this.

Maybe being a dog wasn't so bad afterall.*

[prpl_assistant]

[Now that she's started she can't stop. The petting has somehow got into tummy rubbing. Lots of it.]

[bye_to_yer_head]

*Squirm squirm... His leg starts twitching uncontrollably. Oh he's in heaven.

Let's speak of this to no one.*

[prpl_assistant]

[Yes, no one shall ever know.

Now she's moving to rubbing his ears again. She's starting to giggle too, because he just looks so cute!!]

[bye_to_yer_head]

*He licks her hand before rolling around on the couch and snuggling up against her. Closing his eyes he tries to nap, curling into the warmth of her legs.*

[prpl_assistant]

[What is she doing? She shouldn't be so close to him like this!

B-but he's so warm and fluffy and he's a dog and she's ALWAYS WANTED ONE and no one will know...

She continues to pet his head gently and soothingly, her emotions all a jumble.]

[bye_to_yer_head]

*He's going to be incredibly embarrassed when he turns back into himself and realizes just how close he was to her and how eager he was for attention. There's a big doggy yawn, before he falls asleep, his legs twitching occasionally as he runs in his sleep.*

[prpl_assistant]

[Well, at least he's asleep. Carefully, she pulls herself away from him and gets a blanket. Hopefully when he gets up in the morning, he'll be back to his normal self. She covers him and leaves him there, lest this gets more awkward when he wakes up.]

[bye_to_yer_head]

*And he will be back to his normal self in the morning. Which is.. incredibly awkward since he's still sleeping on her couch. At least he has his clothes on.

Trying to be as quiet as he possibly can he shifts off the couch and tries to make a break for it before she notices.*

[prpl_assistant]

[Nope.avi. She's already awake, and brewing the coffee. She pokes her head out of the kitchen when she hears him wake up.]

Good morning Sniper. Coffee?

[bye_to_yer_head]

*He would make a terrible Spy. With one hand on the doorknob he freezes, before shoving his hat down over his eyes and turning to face her.*

Roight. That .. sound fine.

*Awkwaaaaard.*

[prpl_assistant]

[She sets a cup down for him. It's decaf, but at least it's brewed properly.]

It's good that you're back to normal. How are you feeling?

[bye_to_yer_head]

*He sits back down on the couch and takes an appreciative sip of his coffee. With his other hand he starts absently brushing some of the fur off her couch.*

Good as new. I don't think I'd make a good dog fer real long.

Sorry 'bout yer couch.

[prpl_assistant]

It's fine. I can sweep off the fur later.

So, other than yesterday, how have you been Sniper? I know you've been in Paradise longer than I have. Has things been going alright for you?

[bye_to_yer_head]

S'been alroight I suppose. Broke my gun, been th' only BLU here fer a bit, been turned into a badger an' a dog an' Pyro wants t' loight me on foire.

Business as usual.

[prpl_assistant]

Did you make her angry? Pyro, I mean.

[bye_to_yer_head]

She's mad that I told her there were no piranhas in Paradise. Loike it's my fault th' place didn't see fit t' put a bunch 'f freshwater fish in th' ocean.

[prpl_assistant]

Maybe you could get her another pet fish instead? At least you wouldn't have to worry about being set alight.

[bye_to_yer_head]

I think she's got enough pets.

She can get her own damn fish, I ain't a pet store.

[prpl_assistant]

How about charging her a fee of some sort for the pet fish? A barter.

[bye_to_yer_head]

I think she'd try an' pay me in foire.

[prpl_assistant]

Or she could give you something worth it. She's not that bad a person Sniper. She's just very different from you, and maybe that's causing all this tension between the two of you.

Pyro acts like a child sometimes, there isn't any doubt about that. I can imagine that that doesn't sit well with you at the times when she's being difficult. But we can't afford to be at each other's throats here Sniper. We might need each other in time to come.

I know you're cross with her, and you have every right to. She's wrong to threaten you with fire over a pet fish. But don't just write her off as just another RED Pyro who's out to set you alight.